


612 Times Genesis Broke The Mitzvot And 1 Time They Didn't

by twinkfloyd



Category: Genesis (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:14:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21816481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twinkfloyd/pseuds/twinkfloyd
Summary: Hallmark presents 'A Very Genesis Hanukkah' tonight at 8 PM, 7 PM central starring- Peter Gabriel as Dracula, and Phillip Collins as The Baby Jesus. Directed by Tony Banks with a score from Steven Hackett. catering by Mike
Relationships: Phil Collins/Peter Gabriel
Kudos: 8





	612 Times Genesis Broke The Mitzvot And 1 Time They Didn't

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Jae Nunyah Christmas 2018. Prompt- Biblical Blasphemy (Phil/Peter)

It was the night before Hanukkah and all through the house, no one was Jewish except for mensch mouse. The Charterhouse boys were drinking some swill, vermouth and plum schnapps with Steve and Phil.

And true as a holiday it was somewhat small, competing with Christmas was most important of all. And what had intended to be just a night cap, should turn to a madcap caper at that!

Finishing off a glass of milk, Peter put down his plate of crawfish shells and roe and wiped his hands down his wool sweater (lady's extra medium) and jeans. "Cash me wearin mixed textiles," threatened Mike as he consumed the flesh of the born and the unborn. "Smite me oh smiter."

"I don't think that's my area to decide tbh," Peter avoided him as Mike threw hands. "Don't mind him," Phil approached offering a fat blünt, "Let the good herb cure all that ails ye. I've got an proposal that you can't refuse, we should get matching tattoos."

"Matching tattoos?" piped up Tony and Steve, "We're in a band and we don't have matching tattoos yet what are we doing!?"

"Yeah that's something we'd never regret, let me just consult The false prophet Google." Peter spoke, illuminated by the glare of his iPhone 1972.

"Exxxtreme Wizzzard Tatttz?" Mike leaned over his shoulder, "I'm already sold, time to defile my body with some graven imagery."

"Blasphemous my dude."

And so they called an uber and split it 6 ways. Entering this den of inequity, Phil spotted a grape on the floor and ate it like an animal. "Welcome to the Exxxtreme Wizzzard Tatttz combination Claire's my good sirs, what do you desire this fine evening?" The Wizard spoke.

"Sick tattoos inkmonger," Tony addressed him flexing his gun (arm). "I have some designs in my notebook you might be interested in." He slung his trapper keeper towards the man with bravado.

"I see I see, we also offer many other body modification services such as hair cuts and piercing," the inkmonger offered.

"We'll take one of everything," he slammed his money on the counter, pennies rolling onto the floor (Phil did not partake of these).

And each of them got matching tattoos, a single serpent on each of their bodies like the Devil in the book of Genesis for which they were named. That and because it looked sick. As Tony flexed repeatedly making his snake wriggle under his bandage he asked Steve where he got his snake as he couldn't see it at the moment. "Oh haha," giggled Steve not even remotely subtly, "You know hee hee hee."

Having received their brands, they proceeded to get the works. Peter got his iconic do- the ole shave down the middle, Tony got an undercut, Steve got hair extensions but just on his chin so he could have a goatee, Phil went all out and got his beard shaved full off, and Mike went next door and got a piercing at Claire's.

"Oh you are looking so very wonderful!" The Wizard cheered, "Leave a tip?" He shook the jar menacingly. Steve just stared at him confused, "Uh, no?" and left.

"Nice," Tony stated outside the establishment, "So can I have my money back?"

"What?" Steve wrinkled his freshly pierced brow.

"The money for the tattoos and everything, you said you'd pay me back when we were done!" Tony balled his fists.

Steve checked his pockets a moment, "Oh um... I don't have any, I never got paid for last week's show."

"You're lying that's fucking bullshit!" Tony snapped and struck him across his still swollen brow.

"What the hell motherfucker!?" Steve spat, getting to his knees.

"Fuck your mother!" Tony pushed him down again.

"Fuck your own mother!"

"Oh shit," Mike glanced back and forth at them in the Claire's parking lot. "Oh shit oh fuck oh shit."

Phil and Peter looked at each other fearfully, and decided to flee across the street the the Pottery Barn, not wanting to get involved.

Peter sunk his fingers into the wet clay of his figure he was crudely making, "This is so much more relaxing. They should offer mud facials at that tattoo parlor/Claire's."

"Mhmm," Phil agreed rubbing the earth across his freshly shaven face, "What are you making?"

"Oh- nothing," Peter grew bashful and tried to hide his project.

"No no, let me see," Phil scooted closer to inspect it. "...Is that me?" he eyed him playfully.

"Uhhhh no- but it could be!" Peter chirped adding features to the terracotta idol.

"Oh Peter it's beautiful," Phil gleamed admiring it. It looked like him, like a smooth baby without his beard, "Let's put it in the altar in my closet where everyone can see it."

After a lovely evening at the Barn, they returned home to their filthy abode and went to bed, tiny clay Phil watching over them like the creator themself. Phil was having the most wonderful dream about vineyards or something when he awoke to something touching his face. "Ah!"

"What is it?" Peter sat up in bed and turned on the light, "AH! A bug!" And rolled up a copy of Strange Tales and smacked Phil in the face with it killing said creeping beast. They looked on the shag carpeting which covered the entirety of their house including the bathroom and the kitchen and also the garage except none of them had a car because they needed weed money one time. "Is it dead?"

Peter reached down and poked it, lifting his bloodied fingers to his mouth and tasting it, "Yeah it's dead alright."

Phil fretted staring at its crumpled corpse, "I'm gonna put it outside, I don't want a dead guy sleeping in here with us." And he got up, scooping it into some rolling papers and heading into the hallway. A light was on outside as he unceremoniously chucked it into the bushes, hm, the other guys must be home, and went back in.

"OH MY G-D!" something screamed as Phil turned on the lights in the kitchen to make his traditional 3 am sandwich.

Mike was standing holding something in his hand posed as if he was about to attack Phil. "What the- Hey! That's Peter's statue! Give that back you thief!" Phil clawed at Mike, "Why do you even have it!?"

"I uh, saw it in your room and thought it was a bong?" Mike blubbered, getting a better look at it. "No... I didn't, I know exactly what a bong looks like. I was just jealous he made this for you. You can have it back."

Mike stepped towards Phil holding out the sculpture but suddenly tripped and fell on all the grapes they'd left sitting out all over the floor and it broke into a million pieces. Phil was in shock, and collapsed to his knees staring at the ruined masterpiece.

Steve yawned walking in on them, "What's all this noise about, it's late and we have to pick up Tony from jail tomorrow morning."

Phil sobbed at him holding up his homunculus's remains. "Uhhh, can't do anything about that. -Gasp! My grapes!"

It truly seemed in this moment like Hanukkah was ruined. For everyone forever. Then little Peter Lou Who, who knew it was well past two stared at this mess and said, "Genesis, why? Why are you are you doing this to me? Why?"

And you know, that old Phil was so smart and so slick, thought up a lie and thought it up quick. "Ah why my sweet little tot, Philliam lied, "We were just letting our feelings outside, so we're hugging it out in the kitchen my dear, we make up in there, then we all have a beer."

And his fib fooled the child then he patted his head and got them all drinks and sent them to bed. And when all of the band were in bed with their cups, he made off with Peter and they started to -


End file.
